Klutzy Kryptonite

Not only am I a reclusive nerd with questionable social skills, but I am also a complete and total klutz.

Like, I will actually and literally walk into walls. I'll just be walking around the house, minding my own business, when WHAM wall to the face.

Of course nothing hurts as bad as stubbing my toe. It happens at least once a day, and it's ALWAYS THE SAME TOE.

Always. The. Same. One.

At this point, stubbing my toe hurts worse than a stab wound. Not that I've ever been stabbed, but let me tell you I am 100% sure stubbing my toe is more painful than any petty stab wound.

Okay, 99% sure.

Along with stubbing my toe, paper cuts are also one of those things that just hurts way worse than it should. I mean, they're maybe, what, half a centimeter long? HOW CAN SOMETHING THAT TINY HURT SO MUCH.

Maybe I just have a low pain tolerance, I don't know, but stubbing my toe and paper cuts are basically my kryptonite.

Like, I could be a super hero facing off the evil boss villain, and I would be invincible until the villain brought out a piece of paper and swiped it across my finger. Super hero me would instantly fall to the ground and the villain would win, eventually taking over the world and enslaving its inhabitants thanks to his knowledge of my fatal weakness.

Maybe I shouldn't try being a superhero...